"Put together"

I walked into my creative writing course in uni the other day and a girl from my batch sat next to me. We had never spoken before, but I'd seen her in another course of mine as well. Being the social butterfly that I am, I struck conversation instantly. I introduced myself and asked her about her major (literally the only conversation first-years have when they don't know each other). She answered and then asked if I was a second year. 

I was surprised. 

Second year??

SECOND year?! 

Damn. That felt cool but I was curious about why she felt so, so I asked her. 

Her answer was "you look so put-together."

PUT. TOGETHER. AND ME? 

"Put-together" is basically a synonym for "sorted" which is British slang for someone who has their life well-organized and in order. 

Bullshit. 

Let's rewind. 

Five minutes before class I was in shambles because of something that had happened in my life. I showed up to class with my hair messily put up in a clip. I could still feel the stains that the tears left on my face. Yet, she thought I was "put-together". 

I find that really interesting. What exactly do people examine about other people when passing judgments (especially like this)? I came up with the only possible assumptions she could have made based on my actions.

Was it that I made the first move to talk to her? Was it the spurt of confidence that came across when I spoke to her? Is it the fact that I answer in class occasionally? Is it the fact that I usually do my own thing in class and leave right after? 

To answer those questions, 
1. I'm super social and that's the only reason why I spoke to her 
2. I was confident because she seemed nice 
3. I answer because creative writing is the only course I feel like I am at home 
4. I leave because I don't know anyone in my class and honestly, at the end of a Tuesday, I'm exhausted and in no mood for small talk '

If all of that translates to her thinking I'm put together, DAMN. If only she knew the real answers to those questions. This taught me something really important -
1. People watch you far less closely than you watch yourself so you do you 
2. Owing to the first point, don't overthink your every move - no one cares 
3. No matter how you really feel, your face is the most impenetrable mask and no one can fully read it correctly 
4. Assumptions are so easy to make
5. You appear far less awkward than you consider yourself to be 
6. Don't live inside your head so much
7. Your actions may convey things different to what you feel, so in some situations, it's okay to stop bothering to try 
8. Give yourself more credit. You're doing a great job at being strong
9. Everyone has baggage. Don't underestimate what they're going through just because their faces say otherwise
10. Fake it till you make it:)

xoxo
aishu
11-02-2024

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

He's Just Not That Into You, Or Is He?

When I was thirteen-years-old, I watched He's Just Not That Into You  for the very first time and I vaguely remember feeling quite unsettled during the course of the movie. I think it was to do with the fact that every character didn't have a happy ending (that I was SO accustomed to by the Disney movies that I otherwise exposed myself to). Not all loose ends were tied and not everything made sense at the end - just like real life.  I just finished rewatching the movie for the first time since I was thirteen, and it has left me more perplexed than ever before. Let's go over the rules and characters and lessons to try and break this down analytically.  The Main Message: If a man is into you, he will make the effort to see you and date you.  Does that make sense theoretically? 100%. Sure. Yeah.  I would expect a man who likes a girl to make the effort to make something happen with her. I would expect him to stretch a mile, actually, to make it happen. Then again, ...
Read more

What's In A Name?

"What's in a name?" It was around seven years ago that I learnt that Juliet said these words to Romeo. Incredibly romantic, and movingly wise, I was thirteen years old and mesmerized.  What is in a name, indeed?  It's simply a convention, a label, not to mention its failure to draw attention to what really matters - the person itself - the essence, the effervescence, the lack thereof, the warmth and love. It fails miserably.  It makes me feel confined to think I am defined by 5 letters, of which 2 are the same. Can all of me be summed up by my birth-given name? That would be a shame.  My name isn't me, but I become my name, and through places and time, it's never been the same.  As a child, my parents lovingly changed the last of the five letters. In college, my friend eliminated it, for worse or for better. And I let her.  These little changes in my name made me feel closer to people, as though every modification was simply an indication of love and affect...
Read more

comeback

2025 has hardly begun and it might just be one of my toughest years yet.  I love playing football. I love being active.  On the 4th of February, I went to football training like any other day. Around this time, I was loving football more than ever before. I had just got into form, I was playing without pressure, and my game had improved significantly. It was perfect.  Until I tore my lateral meniscus and sprained my ACL. On the 4th of February, in the last play of the game, while saving the ball from going out, I pivoted and heard a distinctive 'pop' sound in my knee. An MRI 12 hours later revealed that I had torn my meniscus and that I would need to be in a wheelchair for 3 weeks, on crutches for 3 weeks, and out of training for 6 months.  It has been exactly 60 days since I played any sport, or even ran. I currently can't walk downstairs or even jog. It has been absolutely frustrating. I am in rehab, doing physio, and doing water conditioning. The last 2 months for...
Read more