Loss

I sat in my classroom and stared at the board,

The teacher taught lessons that I thoroughly abhorred. 

The lessons that we needed were left unexplored, 

I wanted to study what I couldn’t afford. 

I wanted to know how to deal with your loss, 

And how to deal with memories that I can’t just toss,

To control my thoughts, for I am my own boss, 

How to move on from what I stumbled across. 

What I stumbled across is experienced by a few

What I stumbled across changed me, too. 

What I stumbled across can’t be true 

Because what I stumbled across was losing you. 

On the 27th of December, I lost you to the skies, 

I watched as you left with tears in my eyes, 

I saw motion on the ECG but my vision lies, 

Because you are no more and I’m drowning in sighs. 

I’m drowning in sighs of disproportionate shock, 

There was supposed to be time left on the clock, 

I can’t pretend to be healing when people want to talk, 

Because you are my everything, you were my rock. 

But you’ve beaten the sand in your own hourglass,

You raced past it before your time would pass, 

These thoughts cloud my mind all the time but alas- 

I’m supposed to be focusing on this class -

Where dealing with loss is not spoken about, 

Life being perfect is stated without a doubt, 

Where the others don’t know that I’m living without,

The person who was my escape, my ticket to go out-

And explore the world, without concealing its flaws, 

Without deceiving me into thinking that pain withdraws,

To make me reflect about my surroundings and take a pause,

To discover loss but now I’m experiencing yours. 

So I sit in my classroom and stare at the board, 

Gravity and motion I’ve always abhorred, 

The real lessons I need to learn are left unexplored,

I’ll guess I’ll never know how to deal with feelings I’ve ignored. 

(been a while since I posted but a classmate told me to post this one, so here:)) 

If you are dealing with loss currently, you are not alone. Everyone's carrying their own baggage, and someday you will rise above all of it, at peace with your situation and ready to face the world again. It is a pity that humans are never taught how to deal with loss despite it being so widespread, so omnipresent. We are expected to move on and let time heal when such a situation arises. Just like that.

This poem was inspired by an event in someone else's life and I hope that that person, wherever they are, is doing much much better now <3 

xoxo

aishu 

30-08-2022